My mind has finally allowed me to focus on a specific topic to write about – Love.
Now I know that this topic requires careful and thorough consideration before posting, but I’m going to just write what is in my head at this very moment. This is a very spontaneous post so I will probably write a follow-up later on.
So with that said, I shall begin.
I’m going to declare my stance on love being a principle, rather than a simple mixture of different and powerful emotions alone and I shall explain why.
Now let me make it clear from the start that I’ll write this post as if my own views on love are accurate so feel free to disagree with me in the comments section if you do. I welcome evaluation.
So let’s get to the point already.
Principle – a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behaviour or for a chain of reasoning: – OxfordDictionaries.com
Emotion – a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others: – OxfordDictionaries.com
Keep in mind the above definitions of principle and emotion throughout this post.
Conventionally, I’ve seen and heard love being described as a powerful feeling of affection towards another person, the same OxfordDictionaries.com’s definition of love would suggest that love is simply a feeling and it involves a mixture of emotions. I disagree with this definition of love.
Now if I tell my specific other ‘I love you’ and my declaration of love is based on emotions, I believe I’m doing a great injustice to not only this person but to myself also. If love is indeed an umbrella of emotions does it not mean that my ‘love’ for this person is based upon circumstances, environment and situational moods?
Now we are all familiar with emotions as we experience them every day. So is it then fair to say that certain emotions arise in response to certain situations and our environment? Once the individual has taken action and behaved in response to the awakening of an emotion can we then say that the emotion has served its purpose and can now retreat until it is needed once more?
For example in the case of fear (I’m picking this purposefully for emphasis because it’s an extremely powerful emotion); fear is often describe as an emotion induced by perceived threat, it is also a pivotal survival mechanism and it reacts in environments where there is a perception of danger – leading to the fight or flee response. Once the perceived danger is no more, fear subsides and is in turn greeted with relief or an emotion of the same nature – this act of shifting emotions further proves my point that each emotion arises from circumstance, in this case relief is awakened because the perceived danger is no more. Taking this into consideration, we can assume that emotions are short-lived and in that case ‘love’ is short-lived.
Furthermore, the suggestion that love is an umbrella of emotions leads to the assumption that we love because of the way the other person makes us feel and they in turn love us because of the way we make them feel. If this is the case, how can we then be secure in ‘love’ if it is merely circumstantial and environmental? If I love my partner because he or she makes me feel desired emotions am I not selfish in my perception of what love is? Doesn’t this meaning of love seem to shout ‘Me! Me! Me!’? Such a feeble meaning of love that I want no part of! It is better to say you love someone only IF their well-being, happiness and peace are of greater importance to you than how THEY make you feel. Pure and unadulterated love should have minimal to do with how the other person makes you feel, but everything to do with the peace and safety (psychological as well as physical safety) of the other person. And this is where principle makes up for where emotion completely falls short.
Emotions say: I love you because you make me feel all these good feelings. And a mixture of all these emotions I have towards you enabled me to fall in love with you.
Principle says: I love you because I have chosen to and it is my duty to love you regardless of how you make me feel. It is a matter of code and attitude.
Now please understand that I am not saying love is void of emotions – that would be absolutely ludicrous. I’m saying love is a principle accompanied with emotions.
If we allow principle to be the governing factor of our love for another rather than emotions it means that we are required to love that person regardless of unwanted circumstances, environmental factors or moods. Principle operates on concepts and ideals such as honour and integrity. Integrity in itself is a concept of the consistency of actions and behaviours in relation to values, where honour upholds these values. When love is based on principle instead of emotion it becomes a virtuous and unstoppable force. One of the purest examples of love as a principle instead of an emotion is often found in the relationship of siblings or parent-child. I can go days without speaking to my mother or brother just in relation of a fierce argument. Yet, whenever I need something I am never insecure or unsure in going to either one of these people to ask of my necessity in fear that they will forever remember my words to them during an argument and tell me no! Why? Because love as a principle instead of an emotion says that no matter how ferocious a quarrel may be the values of well-being, peace and safety remain. In this same scenario, love as an emotion instead of a principle would suggest that the involved parties should behave on feelings and emotions right then and there.
Why do I believe in this?
I believe in this because I know if we allowed principle to govern our love for others instead of emotions, many hearts would be spared. Countless heartbreak’s would be avoided and security and peace of mind would excel.
If I loved my partner because his peace, well-being and safety was greater than how he made me feel and he in turn loved me because my peace, well-being and safety were greater than how I made him feel wouldn’t our love be completely secure and unstoppable and be of integrity and honour rather than lust, infatuation, knee-jerk decisions and incompleteness?
I don’t know; I just feel as though we are all so obsessed with feelings and selfish desires. Maybe that’s why we lack authentic peace and relationships of true substance.
K.
kelelo 